The More You Know.

Where've ya been?

Mon, 06 Jun 2011 21:20:00 -0400

Well hello,

It’s been a while, and Laila and I just seem to be working like crazy on other projects. I now write my own blog which is linked on here, www.contemplationsofanobody.com, which has been awesome. School has taken most of our time and with summer here now we intend to be writing more on all projects.

But we have been away for a while, and during this time we’ve grown, somewhat… Which has led us to meld our minds together again on a new project. So stop on by, I mean it’s also here on tumblr and you might even laugh.

http://iwouldbutijustdontwantto.tumblr.com/

The More You Know. do doo do

A Teeth Cleaning To Remember

Mon, 23 May 2011 12:17:18 -0400

A Teeth Cleaning To Remember

Updates

Thu, 21 Apr 2011 23:31:35 -0400

Updates

justinpdrew: Anthony Jeselnik picks a heckler out and just...

Fri, 01 Apr 2011 20:15:27 -0400

justinpdrew:

Anthony Jeselnik picks a heckler out and just ruins him. During the taping of his CD Shakespeare, no less.

Through The Looking Glass

Mon, 28 Mar 2011 23:23:06 -0400

Through The Looking Glass

Liquidation Sale!!! All Gallbladders Must GO!!!!!

Wed, 16 Mar 2011 07:32:47 -0400

Liquidation Sale!!! All Gallbladders Must GO!!!!!

Help Stop VP Today!...(Leigh)

Thu, 01 Jul 2010 19:16:00 -0400

The More You Know. do doo do

A Short Story of Real Love... (Leigh)

Mon, 31 May 2010 00:00:00 -0400

The More You Know. do doo do

Because You Have To Draw The Line Somewhere...(Leigh)

Wed, 21 Apr 2010 04:23:00 -0400

The More You Know. do doo do

When Stupid Meets Religion

Wed, 14 Apr 2010 23:09:14 -0400

When Stupid Meets Religion

The Poop that Silenced the World (Leigh and Laila)

Fri, 09 Apr 2010 02:16:00 -0400

With Finals dawning upon us Laila and I have been forced to pull all-nighters in order to complete our workload. Last night was just such an occasion so an early breakfast was in order. Upon returning from meal hall I made my way to our residence bathroom. After the entering the facility the foulest stench known to man evaded my nostrils. I quickly entered the only other available stall and did what anyone else in that situation would do; I looked at her shoes, or in this case flip flops. After making my rush departure before my gag reflex could fully kick in I informed Laila of the situation. She, of course, believed I had over-exaggerated and raced of to see if she could catch the perpetrator fleeing the scene. When Laila got back she was scarred like myself, and soon the Facebook chat featured below began. Suffix to say this conversation could have taken many hours possibly weeks, but due to my class it came to an early end.

9:27:11 AM Leigh Thompson: Laila

9:27:18 AM Leigh Thompson: can you still smell it?

9:27:20 AM Leigh Thompson: I can

9:29:39 AM Leigh Thompson: to be honest, I think it’s like certain drugs that they’ve changed the brain chemistry and I’m SCARRED for life

9:30:01 AM laila: not going to lie, it’s still in the air

9:30:03 AM Leigh Thompson: yeah it’s made its way around the house. It’s seriously the Hiroshima of shits

9:30:10AM Leigh Thompson: no one will be able to forget

9:30:17 AM Leigh Thompson: we were in ground zero

9:31:08 AM laila: there will be a memorial every year

9:31:18 AM laila: I will call you

9:31:50 AM laila: on the 8th of April

9:31:55 AM laila: “do you remember Leigh?”

9:32:04 AM laila: “that time in the bathroom?”

9:32:13 AM laila: “a girl…nay, a THING dropped something so foul and disgusting into the toilet”

9:32:19 AM laila: “of course I remember Laila, the odor still lingers in RBL to this day”

9:32:23 AM Leigh Thompson: we should flush our eyes out for the service. You know, in memory.

9:32:28 AM Leigh Thompson: I hereby flush my eyes in memory of the time we almost had pink eye

9:32:35 AM Leigh Thompson: and we had to throw out the water bottle because the plastic had been compromised.

9:32:38 AM Leigh Thompson: PLASTIC

9:32:47 AM Leigh Thompson: that stuff doesn’t even degrade

9:33:48 AM laila: “plastic was not the only thing compromised Leigh”

9:33:57 AM laila: it was not the only thing

9:34:05 AM laila: it compromised my feelings of our species

9:34:08 AM laila: our own kind

9:34:20 AM laila: being able to bring something so disgusting into the world

9:34:26 AM laila: AND THERE WAS NO COURTESY FLUSH

9:34:49 AM Leigh Thompson: A full tree gave it’s LIFE in order to wipe away the remainder

9:34:50 AM laila: no Leigh

9:34:55 AM laila: it was a rainforest

9:34:59 AM laila: animals died with no homes

9:35:05 AM laila: and the stench of their death

9:35:11 AM laila: was really no match for the festering being still left in the toilet

9:35:15 AM Leigh Thompson: that’s really what slash and burning is

9:35:21 AM Leigh Thompson: only today did I realize this

9:35:27 AM laila: I hear it’s still out there, it was so huge and disgusting that…they could not control it

9:35:33 AM laila: no sewage system could handle the odor

9:35:49 AM laila: it escaped into the wild

9:35:55 AM laila: it seeks revenge

9:36:11 AM laila: on all the originally burnt nostrils

9:36:15 AM laila: THEY MUST BURN AGAIN

9:36:22 AM Leigh Thompson: it plugged toilets for miles around

9:36:27 AM Leigh Thompson: and even mentioning it in a bathroom will automatically clog all the toilets

9:36:38 AM laila: its like bloody Mary

9:36:44 AM laila: except it smells bad

9:36:47 AM laila: and it’s real

9:37:12 AM Leigh Thompson: yep except you don’t have three chances to chicken out

9:37:21 AM Leigh Thompson: just a whisper of it and BAM

9:37:23 AM Leigh Thompson: your done

9:37:32 AM Leigh Thompson: OH GOD WHYYYYYY!!!!!

9:37:53 AM Leigh Thompson: rolling on the floor in pain the smell it burns IT BURNS!!!!!!!!

9:38:27 AM laila: you know

9:38:29 AM laila: I am still shocked how she managed to store that in her body

9:38:32 AM laila: I mean

9:38:38 AM laila: her bumhole must be crying

9:29:10 AM laila: she tried to silence it with toilet paper

9:29:12 AM laila: to no avail

9:39:29 AM Leigh Thompson: crying? It died a LONG time ago

9:39:35 AM Leigh Thompson: with all the festering that happens

9:39:41 AM Leigh Thompson: come on

9:39:48 AM Leigh Thompson: nothing could survive that

9:39:51 AM Leigh Thompson: NOTHING

9:40:37 AM laila: I hear in order for that odor to be produced

9:40:44 AM laila: one must eat the souls of dead babies

9:40:51 AM laila: while chanting praise to Satan

9:41:07 AM laila: a blood sacrifice may be in order

9:41:41 AM Leigh Thompson: with the blood being drained out the asshole

9:42:26 AM laila: although I can’t really say for sure, I would ask her but you know…festering poop particles

9:32:35 AM Leigh Thompson: she probably can’t smell anything anymore

9:32:47 AM Leigh Thompson: I mean how long could that sense last against that smell?

9:43:31 AM laila: but praise of the devil is in order for such a smell to be created

9:43:37 AM laila: it is against gods will

9:43:49 AM Leigh Thompson: praise? No Laila this goes much deeper, you must sell your SOUL for that kind of smell. I hear even Satan himself cannot be around when it’s being produced

9:44:03 AM laila: you know Leigh? I think you’re right

9:44:21 AM laila: I’ve seen dead squirrels all over campus

9:44:32 AM laila: oddly, all with missing assholes

9:44:52 AM laila: I do believe we might be onto something here

9:45:07 AM laila: this a force that cannot be messed with unless we truly know its power

9:45:57 AM laila: I don’t even think science would be able to aid us in combat

9:46:03 AM laila: we need a higher power Leigh

9:46:39 AM Leigh Thompson: baby squirrels? Legend has it they’re the most potent. I’m guessing that because we didn’t die it wasn’t a human sacrifice…

9:47:13 AM laila: was this from the writings of the holy scriptures

9:47:27 AM laila: they had prophesied that a day like this would come

9:47:55 AM Leigh Thompson: I’m pretty sure it was one of the first signs of the end of the world…

9:47:59 AM Leigh Thompson: it has begun

9:48:24 AM laila: she has awakened all that is evil

9:48:29 AM laila: and they currently wait

9:48:32 AM laila: inside her ass

9:48:40 AM laila: waiting for the right moment

9:48:58 AM laila: slowly sending out their minions, in the form of stench bombs

9:49:22 AM laila: that is no normal poop my friend, that is the sign of the apocalypse.

9:49:43 AM Leigh Thompson: well she’s awaken all of the evil that hasn’t died from the smell. In essence she’s raised the Best of the Evil. Darwin would be disgusted with where’s he’s lead us…

9:50:05 AM laila: If I’m being completely honest Leigh, I feel as though she is not the only one…

9:50:26 AM Leigh Thompson: Oh for sure there are some sinkers

9:50:31 AM laila: why the other day I went to use the bathroom and there was another, with different shoes and different feet, yet the same odor

9:50:36 AM laila: the prophecy did say there would be 5

9:50:49 AM laila: all female

9:50:53 AM Leigh Thompson: and that’s why we need to keep them from finding out about this evil

9:51:29 AM Leigh Thompson: it one of them was to sacrifice themselves to the other… well I don’t want to even THINK of the repercussions

9:51:33 AM laila: eternal damnation Leigh

9:51:35 AM laila: eternal damnation

9:51:38 AM laila: imagine that toilet stall

9:51:42 AM laila: but the entire world

9:51:47 AM laila: is the toilet stall

9:52:04 AM laila: and there is no window to crack open, nor febreeze to spray

9:52:10 AM laila: simply the stench of all that is evil

9:52:44 AM laila: honestly, I feel if we get the authorities involved, the evil would speed up their process

9:52:52 AM laila: we cannot let them know we are onto them

9:53:00 AM laila: Leigh, I know you’ve left to brush your teeth, but please be careful in there.

9:53:20 AM laila: we already know of the evil which is at play, and let us not sugar coat it, the odor still remains

9:53:42 AM laila: no amount of cleaning will be able to remove that evil from the walls

9:54:23 AM laila: it is quick to cling to clothing and hair, so be sure to take the proper precautions and the entire time you are in there, recite the lords prayer

9:54:51 AM laila: I’m not usually a religious person, but in times like these, all we have now is hope.

9:55:03 AM laila: GODDAMN IT LEIGH, WE’RE TOO YOUNG TO DIE

The More You Know. do doo do

How To Lose A Guy In One Message....(Leigh)

Thu, 25 Mar 2010 16:17:00 -0400

A while ago a friend of mine had suddenly found herself with an admirer who she wasn’t interested in. Even though she gave him all the signs of not being interested he had taken to writing her random Facebook messages. One night when we’d had a few drinks she began to tell me about them. Upon hearing this news I decided we should write a joke message. Her being slightly intoxicated she agreed and these are the exchanged messages.

The More You Know. do doo do

What Small Feet Determine About Women...(Leigh)

Wed, 24 Mar 2010 23:33:00 -0400

Today I was attending my Macroeconomics class when the guy I sit next to made an observation.

Guy: “Wow you have small feet.”

Me: “Ya I guess compared to you I do.”

Guy: “You know what that means”

Me: “For Guys I do.”

Guy: “Small vagina.”

Me: “ahahaha Oh my”

At this point the other fellow who sits with us decides to chime in.

Guy2: “This is an important lesson. Small feet effects the supply of small vaginas, demand remains a constant.This is pretty much all I’ve learned in class today, it may be the most important lesson though.”

Yep this is the real learning that takes places in 3 hour lectures.

The More You Know. do doo do

Inspirational Profile Pictures (Leigh)

Sat, 27 Feb 2010 00:15:00 -0500

The More You Know. do doo do

Based on a true story (By Laila)

Sat, 27 Feb 2010 00:12:00 -0500

Based on a true story (By Laila)

Fishville Has No Mercy.

Thu, 18 Feb 2010 22:14:20 -0500

Background information: B is Leigh’s overstepping friend. Although she was able to cut him out of her life, he still feels the need to be inside her. Oh, and he’s a French-Canadian who believes the word “Year” can be used as “Yeah”.

The More You Know. do doo do.

The More You Know: Now brought to you in moving pictures!

Wed, 17 Feb 2010 02:44:48 -0500

The More You Know: Now brought to you in moving pictures!

Word to your mother, because we are the future.

Tue, 16 Feb 2010 09:50:00 -0500

Word to your mother, because we are the future.

Valentine’s Day For Both The High And Low Maintenance Girl (Leigh)

Fri, 12 Feb 2010 01:43:00 -0500

High Maintenance: Chocolates?! What were you thinking!! OMG you know I’m watching my figure. Do you want me to get FAT! Is this some kind of perverted test you want me to take? God I’m going to text my friends about how abysmal this night has been!

Low Maintenance: Dibs on all the carmel ones! SUCKER! You also have to eat the cherry one!!!

High Maintenance: Really, a card? That’s all I mean to you?! Wow, it looks like you spent ages in the store looking for the message that would truly represent your feelings towards me! Even in the retarded kid off the Simpson’s can pick a better card then you and he eats red crayons!!! God I’m going to text my friends about how abysmal this night has been!

Low Maintenance: You bought this after they caught you listening to the Miley Cyrus cards and attempting to steal her cut out didn’t you? Bahahaha NICE!

High Maintenance: Wow carnations… I guess I mean NOTHING to you! Since you couldn’t be bothered to splurge for roses, I guess I can’t be bothered to give you a BJ. God I’m going to text my friends about how abysmal this night has been!

Low Maintenance: Flowers awww that’s so cute. You know I would have given you a BJ anyways … baby all I need from you is the knowledge that you’ve showered!

High Maintenance: Wow sterling silver! What, are you re-gifting me this piece of shit because your sister didn’t want it at Christmas? God I’m going to text my friends about how abysmal this night has been!

Low Maintenance: Aww, babe you’ve put a tiny picture of your head in it! Is this so when your away and guys hit on me I suddenly feel obligated to show them your picture?

High Maintenance: So I guess your embarrassed to be seen in public with me. What am I some ogre? God I’m going to text my friends about how abysmal this night has been!

Low Maintenance: Wow what a lovely gesture. Quick question though … you didn’t make the food did you? I just mean that I can’t afford to get food poisoning at the moment.

High Maintenance: So I don’t dress sexy enough for you? Let me guess that you went into the store and talked to some dirty TRAMP about me. Why don’t you go spend your evening talking to that stupid twat! I’m going to text my friends about how abysmal this night has been!

Low Maintenance: AHAHA you went into the store and bought this? Did you try it on first? I mean you’ve put a little weight on but I thought you’d go for something a little more practical. Just kidding seriously though, this is awesome. Shall I model it for you…

The More You Know. do doo do

He’s Just NOT That Into You.(Leigh)

Wed, 10 Feb 2010 23:58:00 -0500

When you like someone it’s hard to realize that our image of happily ever after will never happen. Sometimes we will overlook damn near ANYTHING to fit our fantasy of a possible relationship. These are 5 signals that I feel really represent “He’s just not that into you”.

He still hasn’t called you back after you slept together last year. He flirts with you on occasion but only seems to socialize with you when he’s drunk.
He announces to everyone in the bar that you have “Fucked” and uses it to a pick up another girl.
He introduces you to all his friends as “My booty call”.
At a party he has your friend pushed up against the wall and is “making out” with her, but the image looks more like he’s fucking the shit out of her. Wait, is that a skirt she’s wearing? Oh no she’s pulling a Britney and gone commando. This is not going to end well…
He’s started the night making out with your close friend. Later in the evening you walk in on him making out with your gay friend only to watch him be lead into the mens bathroom. On returning home you hear a knock on your door with him standing outside telling you “he thought about you all night”.

The More You Know. do doo do